Let's talk about leadership journeys. Not the social media-perfect version with the fancy office and power suits, but the real deal – complete with wrong turns, face plants, and those moments when you wonder what the hell you signed up for.
After 25 years in HR leadership I've learned that leadership journey isn't a straight line. It's an evolution more like your GPS taking you through three states to avoid a little traffic – unexpected, occasionally frustrating, but ultimately getting you where you needed to go.
The Leadership Progression Reality
Most of us follow a somewhat predictable path:
Individual Contributor: You're crushing your own goals and wondering why everyone else can't keep up, this is hard work and at times might be a grind.
Team Lead: Suddenly responsible for others but still expected to deliver your own work, many times can be called the player/coach.
Manager: Finally focused on others' performance, but most often without adequate training. The lack of training is a failure of the company and an entirely different post!
Executive: Balancing vision, strategy, and the development of other leaders and often is a manager of managers trying to develop and teach or show others how to develop their teams.
Here's the truth: there's rarely a "wrong" direction in your leadership journey and most dead ends can be avoided. Made a misstep? You can course-correct. The only true failure is staying stuck, unable to have self reflection or refusing to learn.
When Your Leadership Gets a Reality Check
In my early twenties, I thought I knew everything about leading a team. I was smart, driven, had already seen success in my career and I was completely full of myself. Then I took a new job in a new city and my ego could not be contained. Until the day came my entire staff quit. All at once on the same day!
Talk about a gut punch.
This was hands down was the most humbling leadership lesson I've ever received. My ego had been running the show, and my team had finally had enough. That moment transformed me because it forced me to realize that leadership isn't about being the smartest or most successful person in the room—it's about bringing out the best in others.
Practical Wisdom for Growing Leaders
If you're mapping your own leadership evolution, here are some coordinates to help you navigate:
1. Balance Business Results & People Development: This isn't an either/or situation. The leaders who thrive long-term understand that sustainable business results come through developing their people, not despite it.
I've seen too many leaders chase quarterly numbers while burning through talented team members. Conversely, I've watched leaders focus so much on being liked that they avoid making tough business decisions. The magic happens in the balance!
2. Hire Slow, Fire Fast: This doesn't mean skipping proper process or documentation. Let’s be honest I am at my core an HR professional so document document document! But what this means is:
Take your time finding the right people who fit both the role and culture, and open seat a little longer is less expensive and less of a hassle in the long term; wait and hire right!
When you spot a problem employee, address it immediately. You don’t have to jump to termination; but make sure the employee understands where they are falling short and how to turn around their performance…what is ultimately expected of them.
Follow proper procedures, work with your HR team; but don't drag things out hoping problems will magically resolve itself.
The biggest mistake? Avoidance. Those difficult conversations only get harder the longer you wait. Trust me, I've made this mistake more than once, and it never gets easier by putting it off.
3. Ditch the Leadership Persona: Early in my career, I thought leadership meant projecting perfect confidence and having all the answers. Let’s be real, that's exhausting and ineffective.
Real leadership influence comes when you show up authentically. Sometimes that means admitting you don't have all the answers and (gasp) admitting that to your team. Sometimes it's sharing relevant parts of your own journey. Your team doesn't expect perfection—they want authenticity.
4. Embrace the Growth Opportunities in Failure: Some of the best leadership lessons come wrapped in the most painful packages. That mass staff exodus I mentioned? It led to swallow my pride and change the way I managed a complete reinvention of my leadership approach.
When you face a leadership setback—and you will—ask yourself:
What can I learn from this? What got me here?
How might this experience make me better?
What would I do differently next time?
The resilience you build through difficult times becomes your leadership superpower.
Your Leadership Matrix
Here's what I want you to understand: your leadership evolution is uniquely yours. While there are common stages and challenges, your matrix will be shaped by your experiences, strengths, and the lessons you choose to learn along the way.
The leaders who thrive don't just climb the corporate ladder—they expand their matrix by continuously developing new capabilities and deeper wisdom. They balance business acumen with emotional intelligence. They set high standards while making people feel valued and respected.
Leadership isn't just about where you're going; it's about who you become along the journey and who you help develop along the way. That's the true measure of leadership success.
So embrace your leadership journey—wrong turns, setbacks, and all. Keep learning, stay authentic, have the courage to make tough calls, and remember that sometimes the best growth comes from the moments that challenge you most.
I can honestly say that changing my perspective, and working to lose the ego I had about holding a leadership role has made my career and my life better. I went from my entire staff quitting in a day, to building teams that exceed goals and expectations and as they spread their wings to expand their careers many have become staples in my life and not just someone I used to manage. Watching your team grow and flourish as leaders themselves is perhaps the most rewarding part of my career.
So on the days its difficult, or when your entire team walks out on you take a deep breath and in the words of Michael Jackson “take a look at yourself and make that change!”
What leadership lessons have you learned, or helped change your approach? I'd love to hear about your journey in the comments.
